I have to start packing, but I know that all my belongings will play one more measure in the rhythm of my life here. So I started by taking down the maps I had masking-taped all around my bunk. The London Tube map, the plan of Sevilla, the print-off of Oxford, the map of our hike through the Pueblos Blancos, the directions to our bungalow in Lisboa, the wrinkled map of attractions in Rome. And more: Mt. Rainier and an accompanying map of Southeast Asia.
I'm trying to find one of those Olympic National Park maps that I've seen around so I can add it to my collection before I pack them all in my "to college" pile. I guess that's the pile that I belong in. But I'm not there yet.
This is my last week. It got off to a great start with a sunny day at the coast and a long walk on the beach with my boyfriend. When we got home, Rachel, my best friend from Spain, was napping on my bed. She had fallen asleep while looking at my maps. While sh was here, we hiked like there was no tomorrow, just like we did last semester, and we talked it all out. Everything from our first memories together to our future plans. I have a lot of hope. And I want to share that hope with the people here. I was able to do that in a couple conversations this week. This sulphury soil is slowly softening.
And I must leave.
When I'm finally ready to minister.
Here goes culture shock all over again.
I'm trying to imagine what life is like at Trinity. It's hard to think about, so I usually just don't, but I know I must get mentally prepared. Imagine a place with three rooms for four people instead of one room for six. Imagine not getting toe fungus in the shower. Imagine a grid of roads and traffic everywhere. Imagine doing homework. Imagine having my own designated place in the closet and places in the closet where I am not allowed to sprawl my stuff. Imagine seeing the carpet.
At Trinity, there will be a few hours in the wee of every morning when every girl will be in a girls bed in a girls room on a girls hall and every boy will be in a boys bed in boys room on a boys hall. In fact, even during the day, boys will be afraid of interacting with girls too much, as in, being friendly.
At Trinity, there is a legal drinking age. And I am still twenty. I am twenty? How old is twenty? What kind of jokes are funny to a twenty-year-old Christian girl? What is a twenty-year-old Christian girl supposed to do? What am I not allowed to do? Who am I allowed to spend my time with?
Who am I?
I am a world traveler. But I can still only be in one place at a time.
I am a Christian minister. But I still need to be ministered to.
I am an outdoorswoman. But I still miss my desk.
I am somebody's darling. But I still have just one comfort: that I belong to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ.
And that Savior will always be with me. He's already in my "to college" pile. And my "Ft. Collins" pile, and my "Goodwill" pile. He's even in my "not sure" pile, although he's the one thing I'm absolutely sure of.
Alright. I have to keep packing.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Pastoral visit #1.
I don't think I've ever received a pastoral visit before. The elders made their rounds when I was a small girl, but I was sent upstairs, and it was very hard to hear anything from the other side of the hall railing. Yesterday Ryan and I received a visit from a member of the Christian Ministry in the National Park's year-round staff. Pastoral visits are awesome.
Day after day, Ryan and I consciously seek out interactions that have the potential to be uncomfortable and leave us exhausted. But yesterday, someone flew and then drove many miles to seek us out and make us feel comfortable enough to be rejuvenated. She listened and prayed and offered the resources that she had.
And I feel like I got an extra night of sleep.
Day after day, Ryan and I consciously seek out interactions that have the potential to be uncomfortable and leave us exhausted. But yesterday, someone flew and then drove many miles to seek us out and make us feel comfortable enough to be rejuvenated. She listened and prayed and offered the resources that she had.
And I feel like I got an extra night of sleep.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Goodnight
Revelry down the hall.
Chivalry at my side.
Walk with me through all the noises,
Surround me and hold me real tight.
Desire to hide here forever,
the knowledge we must say goodnight.
Just me now, the mice, and the answer
to my prayer that my soul be all right.
Chivalry at my side.
Walk with me through all the noises,
Surround me and hold me real tight.
Desire to hide here forever,
the knowledge we must say goodnight.
Just me now, the mice, and the answer
to my prayer that my soul be all right.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Happy Father's Day!
My father lives in Colorado now.
He spends this Father's Day in a new home.
From far away I sit and ponder how
he'll celebrate this Sunday on his own.
Without his son, who followed him around
learning from his skills and his mistakes–
and now they both are starting from the ground.
They're freely learning from the risks they take.
Without the girl who'd ask to squeeze inside
his smallest business briefcase just to go.
I still am always looking for a ride–
The man I spend my time with now would know.
Without his youngest, spending one last time
going through the stuff up in her room.
She'll find new roads to run, new trees to climb.
Her plants will find another place to bloom.
And so will Dad. His roots will pierce the dirt.
His sap will warm, begin to flow again.
May blessing water cause his leaves to perk,
May southern breezes blow in form of friends.
Please, let him know that he is not alone,
although for now that house seems dull and dim.
May Colorado soon be truly home,
And give us days to gather there with him.
He spends this Father's Day in a new home.
From far away I sit and ponder how
he'll celebrate this Sunday on his own.
Without his son, who followed him around
learning from his skills and his mistakes–
and now they both are starting from the ground.
They're freely learning from the risks they take.
Without the girl who'd ask to squeeze inside
his smallest business briefcase just to go.
I still am always looking for a ride–
The man I spend my time with now would know.
Without his youngest, spending one last time
going through the stuff up in her room.
She'll find new roads to run, new trees to climb.
Her plants will find another place to bloom.
And so will Dad. His roots will pierce the dirt.
His sap will warm, begin to flow again.
May blessing water cause his leaves to perk,
May southern breezes blow in form of friends.
Please, let him know that he is not alone,
although for now that house seems dull and dim.
May Colorado soon be truly home,
And give us days to gather there with him.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Places
Places I have slept in the less than two years since Nate and Hannah got married: A year ago Aunt Ruth and I were talking about how in the year since their wedding, she had only slept in that house on Kalamazoo. In the past year, she has spent one night in Chicago, two nights at my cousins, and three nights at 3184 E. Borchers Rd. I've still got her beat.
1. Dordt dorms
#. Did we sleep at Hofland's that week ever?
2. 3184 E. Borchers Rd.
3. Emily's in Michigan, a road trip with Amy.
4. South Hall. Was it room 24? I don't know, that was a long time ago.
5. Reading weekend at 3184 E. Borchers Rd. I sang Fernando Ortega's Don't let me come home a stranger as I drove there.
6. My first time in a hostel, downtown Chicago, for the humanities festival.
7. Thanksgiving in Pella
8. Christmas vacation in Pella
9. and that house on Kalamazoo
10. and at 3184 E. Borchers Rd.
11. Interim in Phoenix. We camped. It was very cold.
12. It was so cold that one night we stayed in a Motel 8. That was great.
13. And back in South hall. I had been gone for a month, and we moved all the furniture around, so it counts again.
14. Easter in Pella. I hitchhiked back, in a strange way.
15. And Tulip Time. I rode with the guy I hitchhiked with the first time.
16. 3184 E. Borchers Rd. For about 48 hours. I left a moving mess for mom. Good practice.
17. Hofland's, the night of Derek's grad party.
18. Lynch's, in Idaho, about twenty hours after meeting Ryan and hopping in his car.
19. Glacier Dorm. Paradise, really. But still depraved. But I still miss it.
20. Camping in that one valley. It's a good thing Emily could come.
21. Pastor Willy's. That was some fun Dutch bingo.
22. Johnny and Christina's. Ryan almost forgot that I wasn't even twenty-one. I'm still not.
23. Shelbi's dorm. Saying goodbyes.
24. 3184 E. Borchers Rd. Mom grabbed my legs and shaved them.
25. Tibstra 33. That number. Not my favorite semester. It kind of got squished.
26. Reading weekend at that house on Kalamazoo
27. and Anita's house. Dude, a house. Imagine.
28. Chicago humanities festival in that hostel again.
29. Thanksgiving in Pella.
30. Christmas at 3184 E. Borchers Rd.
31. and that house on Kalamazoo
32. and Pella.
And this is where it starts getting crazy.
33. New Year's morning in a transatlantic plane.
34. One night in a hostel. Too much luggage for three narrow flights of stairs.
35. The Kirkwoods. They made London great.
36. Camarma. I had my own bathroom.
37. Calle Olivares, 3-1 A.
38. The empty hostel in Algeciras. Creeptastic.
39. The hostel in… Jerez. Hehe, that's funny. I had to look that up in my journal. I didn't even know we'd been to Jerez. That was back when all pueblo names just sounded like exotic Spanish words.
40. The hostel in Granada.
41. The other room in the hostel in Granada because we had to make two separate bookings because Alaina went home before all the hiking.
42. The hostel in Lagos.
43. The bungalow in Lisboa.
44. The hotel (what luxury!) in Toledo.
45. The hippy hostel in Granada, with a view of the Alhambra.
46. The cabin in Trevélez, where Rachel and I confirmed that we were the parents.
47. The pension in Matalascañas. We could've invited a couple friends, because we didn't even use the beds.
48. The bus to Madrid.
49. The hostel in Rome. Yes!
50. I slept for a good twenty minutes at Rachel and Gretchens house. But don't tell.
51. The hotel in Grazalema. Sharing a Spanish size single.
52.The bus to Madrid.
53. Camarma. It is good to return to a place.
54. The bus to Madrid, and a little more on the transatlantic flight.
55. 3184 E. Borchers Rd.
56. Hofland's.
57. Johnny and Christina's.
58. Lynch's. It was easier to find the second time.
59. Sol Duc Hot Springs Resort employee dorm. I'm sitting here on my bed (my second since I've gotten here), trying to tune my ears towards the children shouting "Marco" and "Polo" in my backyard and away from the Sex and the City that one of my four roommates is watching. Aromas waft up from the kitchen below. Mountains stand on each side of this place, and clouds cover it over.
It's hard to get enough sleep here, with all the things that surround me. But still I say, "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."
1. Dordt dorms
#. Did we sleep at Hofland's that week ever?
2. 3184 E. Borchers Rd.
3. Emily's in Michigan, a road trip with Amy.
4. South Hall. Was it room 24? I don't know, that was a long time ago.
5. Reading weekend at 3184 E. Borchers Rd. I sang Fernando Ortega's Don't let me come home a stranger as I drove there.
6. My first time in a hostel, downtown Chicago, for the humanities festival.
7. Thanksgiving in Pella
8. Christmas vacation in Pella
9. and that house on Kalamazoo
10. and at 3184 E. Borchers Rd.
11. Interim in Phoenix. We camped. It was very cold.
12. It was so cold that one night we stayed in a Motel 8. That was great.
13. And back in South hall. I had been gone for a month, and we moved all the furniture around, so it counts again.
14. Easter in Pella. I hitchhiked back, in a strange way.
15. And Tulip Time. I rode with the guy I hitchhiked with the first time.
16. 3184 E. Borchers Rd. For about 48 hours. I left a moving mess for mom. Good practice.
17. Hofland's, the night of Derek's grad party.
18. Lynch's, in Idaho, about twenty hours after meeting Ryan and hopping in his car.
19. Glacier Dorm. Paradise, really. But still depraved. But I still miss it.
20. Camping in that one valley. It's a good thing Emily could come.
21. Pastor Willy's. That was some fun Dutch bingo.
22. Johnny and Christina's. Ryan almost forgot that I wasn't even twenty-one. I'm still not.
23. Shelbi's dorm. Saying goodbyes.
24. 3184 E. Borchers Rd. Mom grabbed my legs and shaved them.
25. Tibstra 33. That number. Not my favorite semester. It kind of got squished.
26. Reading weekend at that house on Kalamazoo
27. and Anita's house. Dude, a house. Imagine.
28. Chicago humanities festival in that hostel again.
29. Thanksgiving in Pella.
30. Christmas at 3184 E. Borchers Rd.
31. and that house on Kalamazoo
32. and Pella.
And this is where it starts getting crazy.
33. New Year's morning in a transatlantic plane.
34. One night in a hostel. Too much luggage for three narrow flights of stairs.
35. The Kirkwoods. They made London great.
36. Camarma. I had my own bathroom.
37. Calle Olivares, 3-1 A.
38. The empty hostel in Algeciras. Creeptastic.
39. The hostel in… Jerez. Hehe, that's funny. I had to look that up in my journal. I didn't even know we'd been to Jerez. That was back when all pueblo names just sounded like exotic Spanish words.
40. The hostel in Granada.
41. The other room in the hostel in Granada because we had to make two separate bookings because Alaina went home before all the hiking.
42. The hostel in Lagos.
43. The bungalow in Lisboa.
44. The hotel (what luxury!) in Toledo.
45. The hippy hostel in Granada, with a view of the Alhambra.
46. The cabin in Trevélez, where Rachel and I confirmed that we were the parents.
47. The pension in Matalascañas. We could've invited a couple friends, because we didn't even use the beds.
48. The bus to Madrid.
49. The hostel in Rome. Yes!
50. I slept for a good twenty minutes at Rachel and Gretchens house. But don't tell.
51. The hotel in Grazalema. Sharing a Spanish size single.
52.The bus to Madrid.
53. Camarma. It is good to return to a place.
54. The bus to Madrid, and a little more on the transatlantic flight.
55. 3184 E. Borchers Rd.
56. Hofland's.
57. Johnny and Christina's.
58. Lynch's. It was easier to find the second time.
59. Sol Duc Hot Springs Resort employee dorm. I'm sitting here on my bed (my second since I've gotten here), trying to tune my ears towards the children shouting "Marco" and "Polo" in my backyard and away from the Sex and the City that one of my four roommates is watching. Aromas waft up from the kitchen below. Mountains stand on each side of this place, and clouds cover it over.
It's hard to get enough sleep here, with all the things that surround me. But still I say, "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."
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